Me, Myself & My Fake Boobs

Let’s Talk About Plastic Surgery

Ok so for most of you that know me, know that I have breast implants, those that do not, well now you do. I get messages all the time from younger girls asking about them because they are dying to get them for whatever reason, and I feel it is about time I set the record straight...

I have suffered and still suffer a little with Body Dysmorphia. I no longer have an eating disorder but I still look in the mirror most days and want to change a little something about myself, but hey I’m not sure I know anyone that could stand and say that they wouldn’t change a single thing about themselves. When I was around 19 a couple of my friends got implants and they looked great I thought all girls looked better with big boobs and there was little old me with my 32A Cup boobs lets hear an applause for the ‘Itty Bitty Titty Committee’. I tried to add some let’s call it ‘spice’ to my chest area thinking it would make me not hate my boobs so much, so I decided on a drunken night I would get a tattoo of a bee between my boobs because everyone calls me ‘Bee’ and because well boobees yes I know I am an IDIOT and should not get drunk. A few weeks later I’m out on the raz with my flat mates who decided to go to the same tattoo shop to get their nipples pierced, me being me being with 3 of the lads and also acting like one of the ‘lads’ said I can do better ill get both my nipples pierced. So there I am lying hungover the next day with a bee tattoo between my tits and two nipple bars, that’s what happens when you live in magaluf kids stupidity and alcohol is on every corner. Hilarious Boobee tattoo.

On my return my living in Spain thought I had enough ‘spice’ and should seriously look in to breast augmentation. I began my research on plastic surgeons, I looked at companies like Transform and Mya those are UK chain surgeries. I decided to go for a consultation with one of the companies and when I arrived I found myself sat in a sort of make shift office in Edinburgh waiting to see some lady that would show me a few silicone implants, shove a brochure in my hand and straight up ask for a deposit which I wasn’t willing to do for 2 reasons; 1. This was only a consultation, I just wanted to know more about breast implants. 2. I don’t have a spare £2000 Deposit To which she said ah well let’s see if your eligible for the finance option, which I wasn’t because at 20 I didn’t own a credit card and had a 0-credit score. When I left I just felt like I was part of someone’s weekly shop on the conveyor belt in and out there was no personal touch and the more I researched that company the more I found girls with small complications but regardless how big or small if your getting surgery you want to make sure its done right.

For a whole year after that consultation I worked my absolute ass off and saved every frigging penny I earnt, literally I saved pennies whilst still on the hunt for the right surgeon when I found BeClinic. BeClinic is Based in Belgium however they have a consultation office on Harley Street. If you don’t know Harley street is basically a street established during the 19th century in London consisting of some of the best medicine practitioners and surgeons in the world it’s expensive but you get what you pay for and quality over quantity. I had a free online consultation with the clinic, I had to send pictures of my breasts and a description of what I wanted. Within a week they replied with the details about the procedure and the pricing, aftercare and asked if I had any questions. It was a pretty big difference compared to the pushy conveyor belt treatment I had received at the previous companies consultation., I didn’t get a generic email back or a rushed ‘yes we can do your boobs pay us the deposit now’. straight away I decided that was that BeClinic was the one and so I paid my £1500 that day (November 2016).

January 26th 2017 I’m Boarding the aeroplane to Belgium with my friend, filled with nerves but also excitement just thinking ‘Goodbye Itty-Bitty Titty Committee, Hello Big Boobies’. We arrived late at our hotel so grabbed a quick bite to eat and hit the hay. The following morning, we started the day at 6am, got organised packed a little bag and jumped in the taxi off to BeClinic. When we arrived, I paid the rest of the payment in cash £2500 (Total £4000) and filled out some of the extra paperwork as I sat in the waiting area I couldn’t believe it, this was really happening. One of the lovely nurses Maria showed us to my own private suite where I waited for Dr.Plovier after about 45minutes he came to see me and we spoke in more detail about the procedure , size and shape just to make sure everything was correct and he asked how I was felling and reassured me he knows what he’s doing. So I popped my surgical gown on and within one hour I was being wheeled to the operating room… I woke up about 30 minutes after my surgery which actually only took just over an hour, I felt awful like the whole world was upside down, spinning and bouncing. I needed to pee so my friend helped me out of bed I remember looking down thinking ok do I have boobs or not I felt so numb and my head felt like it was half way to mars. I had a pee and stood up staring at my friend who was talking (which I only know because her lips were moving) but I could hear nothing, everything went blurry and that’s when I though FUDGE I’m about to pass out and with that the nurse came in and made me down a bottle of full fat coke obviously my blood sugar levels were at like 0 hence space cadet mode. I stayed at the clinic for around 5/6 hours in and out of sleep before they said I was fine to go back to the hotel, They provided me with an aftercare package to take home and in a daytrip so to speak that was that. The next two days were tough I literally sat in the hotel in baggy pjs. I could not dress myself, in fact I was pretty much immobile from the waste up I had to wear this awful bra from the clinic that had straps coming across all directions to keep my boobs in place. Showering was literally a full workout not being able to take the bra off I could only wash my girly parts, seriously I couldn’t even reach around to wash my butt which I didn’t expect my friend to do however she did wash my armpits for me. The day we were leaving I decided to have a sneak peek at my new boobs… WHAT THE FUDGE I have I done I thought when I took the bra off, my boobs were literally rectangles up to my chin I was low key freaking out thinking I was stuck like that. They weren’t that’s just how they are after surgery, I mean I don’t know if you’ve ever watched a breast implant procedure online but they slit under your boob and stuff in the implant like you would stuff a turkey at Christmas. A not so brilliant picture of them in the support bra looking like rectangles up to my chin…

March 2017 My boobs had finally dropped to the perfect round shape and were big, beautiful and I LOVED them, they were exactly what I wanted. I literally just stood and stared at them in the mirror all the time, I was still struggling with lifting heavy things at work and the gym was pretty much pointless all I could do was cycle and walk but I guess somethings better than nothing, I think it took about 6/7 months for me to return to a normal routine due to the fact my implants are under the muscle so that I can breast feed it takes slightly longer for them to heal. I had only told a few people I was getting them done and I remember the first time I wore a vest in the gym and I could see people staring and one of the guys just came out said ”there’s something different about you but I just don’t know like its not your hair… “, I just said oh I’ve had my boobs done to which he looked mortified and said “ oh right yep it seems obvious now” to which we both just burst out laughing. Everyone was always asking out them and saying they looked great. Makes me laugh thinking back the amount of nights out I spent standing in the night club toilet and some girl would ask to feel them cause they had never felt fake boobs before and id just say yeah sure they are only boobs and then her mate would come out of the toilet and start feeling them as well and suddenly I’ve spend 30 minutes in the toilets whilst random girls feel my fake tatas, telling me that they now want theirs done too. I also got a lot of hate for them as well I remember one girl slagging me off saying I was a fake ass b*tch, sorry girl but my brains not silicone just my diddies, I didn’t spend your money on them get over it.

Fast forward 2020 In 3 years a lot can change, I have changed, my body has changed, my mindset has changed, for the last year I have hated my 34DD boobs and I mean HATE. Suddenly I feel more body conscious than ever I no longer have the confidence I had when I first got my implants done only a mere 3 years ago. I find dressing for my body shape difficult I’m a size 8 and have to buy size 10/12 tops which are baggy on me and make me look ‘fat’, I don’t want to wear tight tops so my boobs are main focus so I just plod around in gym hoodies. I mean take today for example its summer and 20degrees outside and I am wearing shorts and a hoody to which everyone asks aren’t you hot? or why are you wearing that? I just don’t feel like I can turn round to them and say ‘ oh it’s because I got an impulsive boob job because I thought that would make me happy and it didn’t and now I feel like crying every time I have to dress myself because nothing fits me without being skin tight or making me look fat because its so god dahmn baggy’. So I just say something even more outrageous like ‘ oh I don’t think it’s that hot or actually I’m quite cold’ when in fact I’m actually sweating my tits off ( if only). I sit here and can tell you honestly how much of a mistake my boobs were, I was young and wanted a quick fix, I thought plastic surgery was the answer to my problem but it wasn’t it… Growth was the answer physically and mentally. If only I had waited a few more years I would I realised that I loved my body the way it was I look back on pictures now and think gosh id kill to have that body back with my 32A Cup boobs and be able to not wear a bra, to not have a sore back, to not have to buy bigger clothes that don’t fit my body shape. I feel so much worse than I did before, my partner and my friends always tell me that I look great but that is not enough I want to be able to tell myself that I look great, I want to LOVE MYSELF.

I Feel that in this day and age plastic surgery is so easily available and promoted by celebs especially for young people, I know we all have things we don’t like and want to change but don’t be impulsive especially about surgery. It is not the only answer take it from me, I thought it was the answer I spent all that money on something I’ve grown to hate, something that affects me more every day than it ever did before. I thought about getting them taken out but then I read all sorts of stories about women who got them taken out and had the saggy skin left over I couldn’t believe the doctors had not even removed the excess skin. So I’ve made the decision to stick them out till I have a couple babies that can suck the life out of them and then I’ll get them re sized to something more comfortable that wont be in my face or make me so conscious that I have to wear baggy jumpers in the middle of summer. In the meantime I am learning to love myself and my body for what it is, I can’t change it right now so there’s no point getting super worked up over it, it’s an expensive learning curve to make but it allows me to share my learning experience with you all. I hope if you are or have been considering surgery this will encourage you to truly think about if it’s genuinely what you want or just a quick fix.

A picture Before & After Implants

I just wanted to add that I’ve had no complications or problems with my boobs at all I do love them but just not on my body and that I will most definitely be returning to BeClinic to see Dr. Plovier and his amazing team to get my new Boobs. Do not rush into BIG commitments Develop Your Mind, Body & Soul Be Confident Not Conscious Thanks for reading

Bee 😊 P.s If you do have any questions regarding surgery get in touch via the comment box on my contact page or you can send a message via the ‘Chat’ box which is also anonymous.

P.s P.s

Don’t get drunk in Magaluf or else you could also end up with nipple piercings and a picture of a bee between your boobs for BOOBEES, I have no plans to remove the tattoo it tells a story and quite frankly its bloody hilarious.