Periods With Endometriosis

Lets Talk About Periods

What does the word ‘period’ mean to you? Does it mean pain? Does it mean huge clots bigger than a £2 coin? Does it mean migraines that last for days? Does it mean having a tens machine glued to you trying to get the shocks to help the cramps? Does it mean the burning of your skin for holding your hot water bottle so tight? Does it mean leaking through your pad? Does it mean that you cannot get out of bed and if you do your curled up in a ball on the floor crying? Does it mean having to get your partner to hold you up in the shower to wash? Does it mean taking morphine every few hours just in attempt to numb some pain? Because all of those things are what the word ‘period’ means to me. You probably thinking well my period hurts too, this is not just a period this is endometriosis. Endometriosis is an invisible disease the cause of which is not fully known and means that the uterine inner lining tissue develops outside the uterus. known symptoms are severe pelvic pain, lower back pain, pain during sex, constipation, feeling exhausted for no reason and infertility just to name a few. One study compared the pain to that of a heart attack, can you imagine having a ‘heart attack’ every month… I do not need to imagine because that is what I go through. I never had painful periods throughout my teens because I was getting the ‘Depo’ injection and secondly because of my eating disorder it just stopped me from having them, so I never knew what everyone was banging on about with their period pains. Fast forward to 2017 when I decided to stop taking the depo injection I was 21 and looked into a variety of contraception forms when I realised I was stopping my body from performing what its naturally meant to do plus im getting the jag every 3 months not even knowing really what’s in them, I decided enough was enough and to let mother nature do her thing. 8 months after stopping the jags I had no period at all I was told that from suffering with an eating disorder for almost 8 years id more than likely caused some damage to my body and may not be able to have children. I did not really have a thought on it I knew id done damage to myself and I was not in a relationship so not having kids was not on the top of my list at that point. One month later in September 2017 mother nature arrived in hurricane form and set up shop like she was not planning on leaving anytime soon. For a few months I was having a period every other week it is like the barricades were down and the flood gates just opened for all those years of not having a period I was playing catch up. I was seeing a guy at the time and I found myself at those intimate moments saying literally all the time ‘oh I’m sorry I have my period’ he’d reply with something like ‘what again, right ok’. I swear he did not believe me and to be fair I do not blame him who has a period every other week. So 6 months have passed and its February 2018 this is when i get my first ‘heart attack’ I can still remember now lying in bed in a ball crying my eyes out, screaming in pain i though this is what the girls meant by period pain I thought my body had finally adjusted to a cycle and this was it forever I thought this was normal. I phoned my partner who was working too far away to drive home so I ended up phoning good old mum, who literally left work and within 5 minutes she was in my flat with medication and a tens machine which was soon to be my new best friend. Every month I dreaded my period I was in excruciating pain and people just did not understand making comments like “well periods are painful” or “yeah mine are sore too”. I got to the point where I was completely fed up I could not carry on like this I mean I was pretty much immobile, I went to the doctors and explained to which they said ah okay why don’t you try a contraceptive which I didn’t want and so I walked away with a goodie bag of pain medication and something to help reduce the amount of bleeding called tranexamic acid and is essentially used to stop bleeding from major traumas, I feel that’s the perfect way to describe my period as it is very traumatic. I pretty much found myself at the doctors every month telling them that the medication wasn’t working or wasn’t strong enough, I actually had to phone my boss one day as she was the only person I could get a hold of to come to the house to peel me off the bathroom floor I felt like I couldn’t move I was paralysed In pain. She kindly took me to the doctors, picked up my prescription and stayed with me until my mum finished work. Its awful to live with something so invisible that causes you so much pain and people are somewhat ignorant about, I was studying at college and my lecturer picked me up on my attendance he was a male and so I did my best to explain my situation to him and I couldn’t just tell by his facial response he thought what a load of nonsense batted off what I had just said and told me to just come in more often and could I not take some tablets. If it wasn’t for the fact I could get into trouble I would of called him an arrogant so and so. I carried on like that for a whole year and by the end of 2018 I was getting morphine tablets, which yes it is pretty strong stuff and yet it didn’t even seem to touch the sides for me however adding in a combination of CBD oil it seemed to settle me for a few hours to get some sleep in. The upside was after a year of fighting my case I was finally getting some acknowledgement and had been referred onto to the gynaecologist team. I went for scans, tests and to my disbelief they kept pushing for me to take a contraceptive which after months of battling that it wasn’t a solution they were just trying to mask it all, they finally agreed to organise surgery for me. That was all I wanted, I wanted someone to say okay here is the problem and here’s what we are going to do to fix it. So, mid 2019 I finally managed to get in for surgery, post op the doctor basically said that I shouldn’t have any more problems and that essentially I was good to go there was no more tissue going to cause me any problems. It was a huge weighted lifted. I felt like there were no more restrictions on my life I could resume some sort of routine even whilst on my period, I would not be bed bound in pain. A month had gone by and I somewhat expected my period wouldn’t be far away but I wasn’t filled with dread… when In fact I should have been because I was in the same pain, crying, screaming all over again what happened to not having any more problems? Only this time it was much worse as well as having to deal with period pain I also developed ovulation pain so in the middle of the month I was in agony. I can only describe ovulation pain as someone hitting you in your side with a hammer continuously for around 5 days… Yep its pretty nasty as if I did not have enough pain to deal with! Why is this happening, I go in for an operation to help and came out with a duo of pain to which nobody has a answer for or can understand why. So, now I am in 2020 and I am still battling with whatever the heck is going on inside me and for the doctors to run more tests, to investigate there is clearly something going on internally, I just want an answer, is that too much to ask for? I will not continue to live my life like this, I refuse to accept this is my version of normal. All they seem to offer is a contraceptive pill which I don’t know how many times I have to refuse before they realise I will not take it. I find some relief to reduce the ovulation pain by taking a concoction of evening primrose oil capsules, Vitamin D3, Walnuts and pumpkin seeds every day.

My period is due in a week and I’m writing this in bed with a heat pack on my back and a hottie on my tummy i am already In so much pain the build up just throws me out of a routine I don’t sleep well, my back aches with shooting pains down my legs, my tummy twinges, I am fatigued, I have a headache that’s gradually getting louder over the course of the week not to mention my pre-existing vertigo that makes me so dizzy I feel like the world is moving underneath me. I am so grateful for my partner that is a tall dark and handsome version of an angel, he will help me shower, rub my head in an attempt to relieve my migraines, lie with me on the floor while I cry, get my medication, fill my hot water bottle a zillion times a day, brings me snacks and he is there when I need him to be. Most importantly he understands that i am not intentionally grumpy, he understands that I am in pain and does the best he can to help me. I wanted to write so much more on this, but I decided to give you the short version. I just wanted to help spread a little bit of awareness about Endometriosis, it is not something that people should have to live with, be ashamed or embarrassed about. I want to encourage you if you have any of these symptoms then do seek help and do not stop until you get it, do not settle for a pill. This is not normal.

I wanted to put a quick shout out to ‘Endometrioses Awareness in the Scottish Borders’ ( public page ) ‘Endo Warriors in the Scottish Borders’ ( private page ) These are two great platforms that I would like to encourage anybody with endo or thinks they have similar symptoms to message or join. The beautiful people of this group are so welcoming and friendly and will give you the best advice that they can because guess what, they are going through the exact same process, its not ideal to be in pain and to be unsure so don’t be alone during those times, we are in this together! TOP 10 RECOMMENDATIONS TO HELP WITH PERIOD/OVULATION PAIN FROM READERS: 1. Chamomile tea and Turmeric herbal teas 2. CBD oil 3. Tens Machine (It stimulates the nerves) 4. Fennel & pumpkin seeds, walnuts, Almonds, Flax seeds 5. Cut out Caffeine 6. Boron Supplement (also found in bananas, avocados, peanut butter, chickpeas) 7. Drinking hot water with ginger 8. Agnus Castus 9. Rubbing peppermint oil to your temples 10. Apple Cider Vinegar Readers also advised chocolate and hot water bottles and a few repeats of Eat, Pray, Love… I would also class them as essentials. There are also some great meditations out there, it is hard when you are in so much pain but try to give them ago, empty your brain and focus on your breathing. Thanks for Reading

Bee 😊